Confessions of a Bed-bound Mum Surviving Without Energy

Confessions of a Bed-bound Mum Surviving Without Energy

What I need to confess

I often get asked how I cope with constant pain and Joel is asked daily how on earth I keep so positive. I even ask myself how I do this whole Mum act whilst being stuck in bed 85% of the time. So I’ve decided it might be time to confess that…

1. I’ve been rejected and accepted for living in bed
2. I’m not always positive and productive because I’m always in bed
3. Stuck in bed with no energy, I honestly don’t cope
4. It’s humorous how some of my ‘stuck in bed’ care is curious
5. I realise my support network helps me survive being stuck in bed

Photo by Paula Lavrador

Just in case you thought I’d gone all Negative Nelly on you here, I haven’t, This post is about surviving!

But there is contemplaining in this post. I’m owning the hidden side of the warrior: the thin skinned; dirt dishing; ranting foot-stomping anti-hero. I’m owning up to my inner 5 year old, throwing her toys out the pram!

I hide my negative side, but if I’m being open about living with chronic illnesses, then I have to admit I’m not always positive and that, my friends, is okay. I need to learn to say to myself that it’s okay not to be okay, too!

Being rejected and accepted 

If you knew me before I became the brain diseased Laura, then please know that I probably don’t mean you as I have a cathartic moment here (unless it is you). Then you have a choice to make – contact me or fly away for good! Harsh I know, but…

When I first fell ill and could drive, make my own lunch and put my kids to bed; most people stuck around. But when I was so ill I couldn’t get out of bed, things changed. Some have shown where their priorities are, so if you’re waiting for me to contact you, then bad news – I won’t be. I’m too stuck in bed, in pain to do that! 

I don’t miss anyone that chose to leave my life, as such, but their selfish actions still play on my mind. What hurts most are the life event friends (marriage, babies etc.), those I thought of as close friends who no longer want to be there for me. It sucks to admit that, but I have to use my energy on my friends that get it.

I love the friends that stuck around when this disease started eating away at the Laura I was (I’m mostly all there now); the friends who’ve never doubted me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate them accepting me as I am. Thank you to those of you who don’t bat an eyelid when I cancel plans; for sitting on my bed with your legs up, getting your own drink, listening when I ramble on and telling me off for doing anything, like that’s normal. You keep me going on the dark days.

For my full story read this: Learning To Live One Day At A Time – My story so far

*Disclaimer – this will not be as good as The People v OJ Simpson  – True Crime Story

I’m not always positive and productive

I wake each day hoping to do so much, but I just don’t have boundless energy. I do feel like I’m betraying you by even hinting at negativity when I push for positive energy so much. But, let’s be honest, no one can be positive every second of the day; unless they’re ‘Cor Blimey’ Bert or Mary Poppins.

However, life as a bed-bound mum is pretty shocking really. I try not to think about it in the grand scheme of things, so I fill my day with distractions. But despite knowing when enough is enough, I struggle to act on what my body is telling me. I’m in constant pain, whether in bed or seeing friends; so despite being so ill I’ll push on.

Genuinely I often feel uncertain, not knowing how I’m going to feel each day. Sometimes I can’t even guesstimate my pain level on waking, as it can change in minutes. I plan my day ahead but I’ve learnt to adapt plans. However, this is when I can be unproductive and it can result in one of these things happening:

• I force myself through the day, thinking it will pass
• I keep busy but end up not finishing anything in my planner
• I forget about the one thing that does need doing
• I don’t meditate or give my mind some space
• I don’t move much – no bed yoga or even my physiotherapy exercises
• I rest all day and let go or I just get really bored
• My body decides to sleep all day, so I get nothing done

Guilt for no reason is hiding anger at oneself

I find it frustrating and have so much time to think, stuck in bed day after day. I do have a Guilt Goblin that chips away at my self belief. The trail of red mist lingers with a sour taste of culpability. My self anger can last for days, but Joel’s my knight in shining armour who kicks that spurious fiend back to the Goblin Gaol and curbs the self sabotage.

I feel a little dishonest about only just opening up about how dark some of my days are. I’ve not tried to hide it, but my naturally positive outlook means I bury the negativity. I know the only person putting pressure on me is me, so now I need to find balance by permitting myself to let that anger out to break the goblin’s curse.

With no energy, I honestly don’t cope 

I admit that I feel drained and rough around the edges but I have some control so I can cope. I’m scared that If I allow myself to feel negative, there would be a BOGOF deal on. I’d end up with a double negative and they don’t do nobody no good!🙈

The problems which arise for those of us with chronic illness come with fat globs of failure and guilt. It can be overwhelming even though these feelings aren’t validated. I can use up more energy fighting the dark days; instead of saving it for better ones.

So I’ve realised that if I let myself rant, I can save my mind from splintering. My safety net is in the power of words and if I put my energy into going full James Joyce mode, letting my thoughts flow on to the page, I may make some brain space. I admit  it’s exhausting to let buried guilt free but I have to, before it poisons my future self.

To be able to cope with it all alone is too much and it isn’t fair to transfer all the pressure on to Joel. So even though it’s hard to do, accepting help has allowed us all to use our energy wisely. I can focus on being a mum and we can focus on family life.

Confessions of a Bed-bound Mum Surviving Without Energy

Some of my care is pretty curious

Joel and the boys are still my main carers, even though they’re unpaid – shh! They still manage to make me laugh every day, often about my own care needs! Doing that constantly is too much to ask, so I have two Carers that help me on weekdays.

Helen and Sam are both very different characters on top of knowing my needs, we  have a good giggle most days too. They do pretty standard physical care, such as making sure I wash and eat. But they also have to cheer up a lonely, bed bound 41 year old who lives in the dark, the literal dark and sometimes the dark filled mind! 

Helen’s a gentle soul and brings an air of calm with her. She seems to have the ability to make me say and do sillines and I think I make her laugh most days! Sam’s a more recent addition to the team. She gets everything done, despite her clumsy limbs and we giggle our way through most days. She’s also owns being weird and I love that!

I’ve let you in on some of the darker sides of being a bed bound mum, so now I’m up for sharing what goes on beyond the scenes, why all of my Carers need to be on it with me and maybe have a little bit of crazy about them too… in a good way! 😜

• They have to make sure I’m safe, especially using the walker around my room as I get over confident thinking I can do it, but I don’t always see the collapse coming or Sam falling over it herself, when she brings the extra kooky. There’s a need for me to have constant reminders not to bend over to pick up everything I drop. If I had £1 for everything I dropped each day… I’d have to um… give it to everyone that picks it up for me I guess. Then there’s my lifeline, the bane of my life. It makes me feel soooooo old, but I have had to use it once, when I fell in the shower. My boys and a carer, who’s moved on now, were here but there was a  problem as none of them responded! They all thought the noise was something other than my lifeline – a phone message or a dial tone!!
• Doing the laundry is always a big job of washing, drying, folding etc, but I’m quite particular and my funny ways get muddled up when 3 or 4 people are doing the same job. I want some clothes rolled; my towels must never go out on the washing line; I have a specific drawer system and I like my clothes hung in a certain order. And that’s me not even me being picky! The funniest thing is that Sam often puts my clothes away inside out. I don’t really mind but one day I mentioned it to Helen. When she left, I saw that she’d put the sheet on my bed inside out and thought I wouldn’t notice – as if! As Joel puts it, he doesn’t give a shizz (sort of), but he knows how much it bothers me as a weirdo! 
• Any carers that work for me have to know how to make me a smoothie – it’s the law! They have to understand the love for coconut anything and avocados in everything. They have to know how to use maca, baobab and cacao powder and the joys of mornings and spirulina (they stain everything green!) They have to have the patience to clean my bamboo straws and make the occasional smoothie bowl. Then they have to remember every ingredient they’ve used so I can put it into my weight loss app. I’m not fussy or anything, I just don’t have an appetite and lots of deficiencies. They have to remind me to eat 3 or 4 times! 
• I’m used to a room full of chatter and do like a natter. I don’t mind alone time, but I just need a little bit of life to break the boredom of living in one room all the time. However, they only have a short amount of time here so they have to get used to having to tell me to shut up 3 or 4 times and have often been found backing out the door while I keep talking.  Then they have to make it out as fast as they can before I start calling down the stairs at them! They also have to try and follow my crazy brain and plot twists before reminding me what my point was or whether to just go with it! 
• Then there’s the wheelchair – the fun of fitting it in a small car and putting it together without trapping the seat belt in the wheel (so many times 🙈). If we get to that point, it’s not as simple as it seems, then we have to make sure that we’ve parked where I can actually use it or not. Sam’s been a carer all her life but my boys do a better job driving!! 😂 Firstly she parked right next to scaffolding which made the path too narrow. Then she nearly toppled me out down the curb with no attempt to reverse. I shrieked in time and she managed to bump me over the metal ramps instead. When we arrived at the tearoom, she parked up and we ended up playing musical wheelchairs as we found out it was booked up. When we tried to get away we were already in hysterics as a couple had watched the full show from their outside table. He ended up rushing to help when my wheels got lost in traction over the cobbles and went into wheelspin. We ended up going back and driving to an alternative!
• Then there’s the alternative remedies, Mindfulness and meditation. They bring me a herbal tea when they get here, but not if I’m meditating – then they have to leave me be for a bit longer. They have to understand bed yoga in case they walk in and I’m doing some strange movement. They have to get used to my essential oil diffuser and the coconut oil that goes on my body hair and  in smoothies. And then, only then, do they get to embrace the world of the miraculous Migracap as demonstrated below- an ice hat to help with the pain.

Me in pain in a Migracap.

I’m sure there’s more, but the main thing is that I’m surviving and they support they give me enable me to be a good mum. 

Read more about what I get to up to in my days here:

A day in the life 

I realise my support network helps me survive

Mix the combination of Joel and my boys with Sam and Helen and I have the perfect mix. I haven’t always had it easy with finding the right carers, but Sue who owns the caree agency is a very good friend and we’re all happy, she even comes in sometimes. I’m so lucky to be able to call my carers friends.

I can confide in both Helen and Sam and that is a crucial part of my care, especially on the darker and more painful days. Also, I’m still youngish so I need to be able to be friends with the people rummaging through my knicker drawer!

The vital role my friends and family play in my support network is crucial. I’ve spoken a lot about my friends in the past and how important their role is. Nothing has changed. Those friends that made the choice to stick by me are the people who keep my spirits lifted. 

I can’t talk about my support network without mentioning my Dad. He’d stay over when Joel was away from work, until recently. The boys have now taken on this responsibility. He still takes Youngest to swimming lessons and will be there for music lessons, engineering club and anything else pick ups, at the drop of the hat.

With all this support, I know someone will be there for me, whatever, whenever and wherever I need. The role each person that stands with and by me my through my journey is what helps me to do more than survive with this rare disease. I thrive!

The most important thing anyone in my jigsaw of support can do is to make sure I preserve energy for mum duties. They will all tell me off for talking too much and if my pottymouth alter ego is allowed out to play, well… I think I may have a sense of humour. I think that answers the how I cope question. You have to find the funny! 

Lastly…

It feels good to admit that I’m not always positive. I imagine you’d guessed, but if I didn’t feel safe from the support I get, then I wouldn’t be able to admit it and own it – well nearly. Getting better at understanding my lack of energy is an on-going study, but I’m learning that if I stop comparing myself it helps. This all helps me cope.

The support I have is undeniably what helps me be a great mum.. bed-bound or not. Those Friends, family members and Carers that form my support network are like the special shells that whisper in my ear at the end of every day that I did it. That I survived even without boundless energy and that my kids did even more than that!

What helps you cope with chronic pain or illness?

How to stay sane when stuck in bed with chronic illness or recovering from surgery. An insider’s guide

Staying level headed with debilitating pain. 

Those of you that already follow my story know I’m no stranger to surgery. I’ve  had my 3rd brain stent surgery for IIH (Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension ) on 15th November. I was aiming to get downstairs on Saturday and I made it. It’s so important to have goals to keep you motivated. I had a family day yesterday too!

But I’m going to be spending this week in bed again recovering, as expected. My pain levels are high today and I had a bad night’s sleep, but I don’t regret it. Days with family are what keep you going . My condition is extremely debilitating but I’m not seeking sympathy; I share my experiences to raise awareness!

Please note: if you have questions about IIH, any chronic illness or mental health concerns; please speak to a trained health professional. These tips are about self care and any advice I share is based on my own experiences.

I shared this selfie on social media, 10 days after surgery. It was youngest’s 13th birthday and I was in bed, fed up that I couldn’t celebrate. The response to this post has been amazing. I received lots of supportive messages and my husband, Joel, was asked at work how I stay sane and positive when I’m stuck in bed for weeks – struggling to get to my en-suite bathroom at times.

So here’s my guide to staying sane as a chronic and invisible illness warrior! 

• Don’t fight the pain! I used to be determined not to give in to the pain and I’d push myself to do too much too soon, making my recovery take longer. Now, I try to listen to my body and have retrained my brain to know that it’s okay to rest, This has taken years of making mistakes, until being taught to recognise and change patterns in my behaviour by my coach, Josie (details below).

• Ask friends and family to tell you when you’re looking tired. It’s easy to miss signs that you’re flagging, but don’t shy away from asking those close to you to say if you look like you need to rest. If someone tells me I look rough I’m not offended, I just realise that I do hurt a lot and may need that pain relief!

• Remember your condition doesn’t only affect you. A delicate ecosystem occurs for most familes when someone has a chronic illlness. This means any change has an effect on family life. If you’re the one in constant pain, then your contribution to family life is probably limited. For example, I usually do online grocery shopping and am usually the mediator. Plan for those times when you can’t make your usual contribution. Try asking a friend to pop to the shops or do some jobs around the house, so your partner doesn’t have to do everything!

• Give yourself time to recover. I always seem to forget how tough living with daily high level pain is or how hard recovery from surgery is. So I tend to think I’ll cope better than I actually can. Now I set myself goals and break these down into smaller steps. E.g restarting your physio or getting dressed before venturing downstairs. Whatever goals/steps you take need to be all about you! This is the time to practice self care! Maybe keep a pain diary or notes after surgery, so you can look back at what has worked for you in the past,

• Be honest about having visitors. Let’s be honest, the novelty of surgery soon wears off and friends might get bored with your chronic illness. You’ll probably stop getting as many flowers and cards, but hopefully your friends will still support you as much as ever. For me, receiving a text cheers me up, but having visitors (when you can) is vital! You’ll get a mental boost and it breaks up the bedroom boredom. But, if you’re in too much pain; be brave and postpone. True friends will understand and if they don’t, then you don’t need them!

• Keep a gratitude journal. I spend time every day reflecting on what I’m thankful for. I write 3 positive things in my diary every night or the following morning, This can be anything and it’s the little things that count when you’re recovering from surgery or a bad flare. Washing my hair, managing to eat a proper meal, having a snuggle with Joel or a giggle with my boys mean so much to me in that acute pain phase. I’d suggest starting getting into this routine before surgery. It’s also really nice to share these with friends or family!

• Meditate. I can’t explain how much meditation helps keeps me calm in hospital and in the following weeks. I download my favourite meditations (in case there’s no WiFi) on my phone and take my headphones to block out the horrible noises on a ward. They also help me sleep between hourly obs through the night! I also use techniques I’ve learnt to visualise my happy place to lie still during a procedure or anaesthetic. You can read my tips for meditation here.

• Use affirmations to visualise positivity. Ok, so I know the word meditation may have scared you off, but stay with me! Using affirmations has been the key to staying sane through 3 brain and spine surgeries this year! I also use affirmations cards from TheYesMum  (@theyesmummum on Instagram) daily.

My coach Josie, from Worry Freedom created personalised affirmations to help manage my worries, which are mainly about how surgery impacts my family. She turned each concern into a positive affirmation, such as ‘I am proud that my boys have built resilience’. I record these as voice memos on my phone and listen to them before, during and after my stay in hospital. They’ve helped me to stop worrying about everyone else and concentrate on my one job – healing.

• Ask family to spend time with you in your bedroom. When you’re always in bed, it can get very lonely. So, whether it’s snuggling with Joel watching TV, having a chat about the day or watching a film with everyone on the bed; having my family come to me is so important. For example, we ate youngest’s birthday meal in my bedroom, so that I could still be a part of his special day.

• Entertainment. I’ve always been against TVs in bedrooms (personal choice), but after my first surgery Joel set one up in my bedroom so I could watch my favourite comfort movies. It’s stayed! I rely on my iPad so when we realised this was going to be our new normal, Joel set up Apple TV so I have lots of choice. I’ve also have audible and Spotify so I can listen to gentle music or spoken word on the days when I can’t open my eyes.
• Bonus Tip – When you’re doing better, but still stuck in bed or the house I think you need a hobby. Many chronic illness warriors craft and this helped me not to feel so lost when I’d been diagnosed. I’d taken silversmithing classes before falling ill, so I began making beaded and up-cycled creations. Now I run my own online business with an Etsy shop. I’m closed whilst I recover, but I’ll be posting more about this as I prepare for reopening. You can see what I make on my social media pages too. ⬇️

Paprika Jewellery & Accessories

Paprika on Facebook

Paprika on Instagram

Paprika on Pinterestl

Paprika on Twitter

So these are my top 10 tips for managing to stay positive, or at least rational when can’t do anything. But hey, we’re all different and these are just what works for me, If you’ve got the money to invest in working with a coach, do it! It’s all about finding solutions and a good coach can change your outlook! I had counselling after diagnosis, when I was still grieving for the life I’d had. If you’re struggling please talk to your GP/Doctor straight away!

Are you recovering from major surgery? Do you have a chronic illnesses? I’d love to hear about what you’ve tried if you’re housebound or bed-bound. What tips do you have to keep rational and level-headed? 

How to Cultivate A Grateful Life – A Beginners Guide

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How to Cultivate A Grateful Life – A Beginners Guide – ‘I think of 3 positives at the end of each day and I’m thankful for my friends and family. This simple act has helped me grow as a parent during many tough times.’

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In this step by step guide I’m going to show you how to grow from feeling mostly meh to predominantly pleased by lightening the load using these pointers. I’ll explain how my life as a parent with anxiety and chronic illnesses took me to the lowest lows of my life to being as well balanced and harmonious as a landscaped garden.

When I recognised that I was dragging my family down with me when I’d get grouchy with my boys or snap at my husband because I couldn’t cope, I knew I had to change. I had to find a way to climb out from the undergrowth for them and it was as simple as making 1 or 2 small changes first! This guide covers the 10 steps it took for me to live gratefully.

When the Light Dimmed and I Couldn’t Breathe

I struggled with my mental health on and off for years after Youngest was born. I had post-natal depression and suffered from panic attacks for months after nearly losing him many times in his first 48 hours. The first time we left the hospital for some fresh air, once he’d stabilised, I couldn’t breathe properly as soon as we stepped out of the hospital door.

After being checked out by doctors, I was told it was a panic attack. It happened again, each time I left him in the NICU and continued once we were home, especially as he was rushed back into hospital for a 5 day stay a few weeks later. I’d panic if he didn’t snuffle when sleeping and even had a GP tell me that he didn’t know what I wanted him to say.

I just needed to be told he was okay, which he was that day but not every day. All this went on in the same 12 months that I lost my Grandpa and Father In Law as well as four other family members and friends that died too young. Joel and I had to find our way through all of this heartbreak, which was a massive strain, and I needed my voice to be heard!

Finding the Air and The Space I Needed to Grow

I was in very a bad way when my GP listened and I was counselling sessions which had a positive impact. My counsellor guided me towards the air holes when everything was suffocating me. Joel held on tight to my hand and I had a 2 year old to think about as well as a baby so I fought hard and together we found the light we needed in our lives again.

Making these big changes led the way but it was little changes that were key to me being purposefully grateful for my family, my remarkable husband who gave me space when I needed it even whilst he was dealing with his own grief. I had 2 beautiful and healthy children (Youngest was given the all clear aged 1) )to be thankful for.

As a family we grew stronger roots and the trail that the our tears left behind faded.

I needed time to nurture our boys and bed in strategies to keep me on a positive path. Just look at these faces to see all I had to be thankful for.

We got plenty of fresh air on family walks and I exercised outdoors when possible. I had breathing space to appreciate the world around me and to recognise all the positives I had in my life to celebrate!

Cherishing Life Every Day and Seeking Adventures

When I was diagnosed with migraines a couple of years later, it threatened to uproot all of the hard work we’d put in to creating space in which to appreciate our family and the life we’d built. But we’d done the tough bit and with Joel by my side I managed to stand tall, despite the wobble. In many ways it was the catalyst to my valuing every day with them.

So when my physical health stabilised we grasped every opportunity. We embraced travel with unbelievable family holidays and wonderful long weekends just the two of us. We embraced live music and made the most of living close to London and Brighton; immersing ourselves in the culture and experiences available to us.

When I took a promotion with full time hours when Youngest started school the challenges came and the cracks in the ground around me started to appear again with the stress. I had panic attacks driving to work or would arrive in tears. It wasn’t the right place for me.

So I went back to part time hours and rediscovered my love for teaching and as part of a small school nurture every child.

I was happy to wake up and drive along the country lanes and have time to exercise and be with my family at weekends. But I needed the buzz of a challenge and landed a Senior Leadership role in a lovely school. Unfortunately I fell ill after one term and this project was abandoned mid sentence!

The Abandoned Vine and The Weeping Willow

It had been an on off relationship with cultivating a grateful life as my mental health wasn’t being nurtured continually. I was on uneven terrain so I became a weeping willow, a common symbol of grief. Isolated and feeling like the only one with a constant migraine, I hardly saw any friends because I found it hard to have a simple conversation.

I was stuck at home, unable to carry out plans we’d made to see gigs and I felt suffocated. When we were together as a family, I’d be shushing the kids over nothing because of my hyperacusis and getting grouchy, I couldn’t sit with Joel on my right because his deep voice triggered tinnitus. So family life became strained, left as though an abandoned vine.

I found other chronic migraineurs online but this compounded my feeling of hopelessness. However the light shone through my protective foliage when I found a group of amazing people who gave me support, inspiration and laughter. They helped me gather strength and find the positives again! Maybe I wouldn’t be left to go to rack and ruin after all!

It turned out that I was actually suffering from IIH or Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. You can read more about this condition in this blog I wrote a while back: https://laughingwhileyourecrying.wordpress.com/what-is-idiopathic-intracranial-hypertensioniih-iih-brainandspine/p

The Beginners Guide to Results From Being Grateful

1. Find someone to give practical advice to help you solve the root problem.
2. Connect with someone to confide in when times are tough.
3. Get help with complex applications for monetary support.
4. Seek counselling through very tough times.
5. Find your tribe, the people who get what your going through.
6. Pass on acts of kindness to others going through similar situations.
7. Share your story with those you could help those beyond your group.
8. Change at least one habit to help you live a healthier lifestyle.
9. Find at least one positive or small win from your day.
10. Record your positives from each day In a way that you can refer back to.

1. I was given a crash course in how to deal with chronic illness life, which at the time was still diagnosed as migraine. My migraine friends would chat to me on the phone when I had particularly bad days or worsening news. There were there to offer me practical advice, including introducing me to my trusty Migracap and meditation.
2. I made many online friends but have been lucky to meet some of these truly amazing people who I could confide in, as well as having Joel of course. One truly amazing lady told me that she would be there in spirit to squeeze my right hand and she would squeeze back. This simple invitation became my safety harness!
3. I learnt about options for having to leave my teaching career and how to plan for the future. I was supported when I had to fill out forms for ESA and PIP support and how to deal with the face to face meetings with them, social workers and more besides.
4. Little did I know then where chronic illness life would take me. Having friends that get it to confide in meant that there was always someone there if I had bad news. If Joel was at work I might have to wait all day but his support is what got me through, I recognised early that I needed counselling again to help me cope with extremes.
5. These people became my tribe and having them there got me through the really scary times when I couldn’t communicate at all. By this point I’d narrowed down my friendships where people disappeared when it got too much. But once I was diagnosed with IIH and had a treatment plan of how to help me, I had hope again.
6. As my confidence improved I developed a more positive outlook because I could pass on these acts of kindness to friends I’d met online with similar symptoms to me. Meeting members of my community has allowed me to understand chronic illness better and I can offer advice based on other’s challenges from different perspectives.
7. I started my blog to be able to support my readers during their own tough times. I share information for awareness of my Conditions and mental wellbeing. I share what’s helped me as a parent with chronic illness, finding a purpose and having a healthy lifestyle and have created a community where people can ask my advice.
8. By being so open I’ve really found out who my true friends are so I’ve worked hard on developing my self esteem. I try not to let those who can’t cope with my no filter speak and inability to communicate well all the time, impact on my own wellbeing. Luckily I’m overwhelmed by the support and understanding my friends give me.
9. I was inspired early on, when I first wrote this post in 2014, to think of one positive at the end of every day, however small. It could be that I managed to wash my hair or that I saw my nephews and nieces. It might be that Youngest and I baked a cake or that Eldest tidied his room – it’s rare. It might be that Joel and I watched a great film!
10. Now I write 3 positives every morning in my journal about the day before as I’m too tired to write at night. I write 1 thing that made me happy, 1 thing that made me proud and 1 thing that I’m thankful for. If I’m going to always be in pain, I’d rather be happy in pain than miserable and in pain anyway.

Hey, you might like to check out my top tips for setting up your day to be positive using affirmations. These easy tips can help you to build on to these tips above. https://laughingwhileyourecrying.wordpress.com/2019/02/03/5-morning-affirmations-to-guarantee-a-successful-day

Conclusion

I give myself limited jobs to do each day, the amount depends on whether I have a friend visit, so that I can still take time to take that one positive thought and remind myself throughout the day.

My life is no longer about a teaching career but it is about the little things in life. Having a positive thought to focus on helps me to stay thankful for having supportive friends and most importantly every moment with my family.

Almost every day a friend will mention that they just don’t know how I’m able to stay positive despite being in constant, debilitating pain. I’ve been told by many friends that I am the strongest person they know or even that I am an inspiration to them. No, I’m not singing my own praises here; I just wanted to share how this makes me feel.

After years of living with mental and chronic illnesses, I’m honoured to be able to inspire my friends with my positivity. I feel that I’ve been passed along insider knowledge for helping others that are suffering with pain or illness; sharing closely guarded tips, tricks and wonderful acts of kindness. My strength has been sent my way and I share it freely.

If I can raise a smile for someone or give them extra strength to get through their day, then I’ve achieved what I set out to do when I started this blog. However, these days I can see what led to me thinking of one positive thought a day and now extend to recording 3 positive thoughts for every day.

If you can only do one of the 10 tips in this guide to a more grateful life, then please find your person to confide in. We all know someone who has needed someone to check on them at some point so if you can be a confidante then make sure your friends know they can talk to you about anything, at anytime. A grateful life starts with a small win and a grin!

Have you got any tips for creating a positively grateful lifestyle that I’ve not mentioned? Please pop them in the comments below. I’d love to read them and I do reply.

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*If you feel you need professional help then please speak to your doctor. This information should not to replace medical guidance and is based on experience alone.

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✋Hey there! You could really help me out. Just one minute of your time to press that share button helps me so much! You’ll literally make me do a bed-bound happy dance. Now there’s an image for you! Go on, you know you want to!