Tag Archives: goals

How to Write Awesome 2019 Goals Without Feeling Overwhelmed!

It’s Goal Setting Time. So how can you do this effectively, with a positive mindset? Here are my Top Tips!

 

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Okay, I know there are heaps of blogs out there about planning your goals for 2019, but (and this is a BIG but), there aren’t many out there which give you tips, based on science, to help stop nasty overwhelm and anxiety come knocking.

So, if you’re likely to be run ragged over resolutions; inundated with intentions; in a tiz over targets or engulfed in a goal funk then you NEED to read this post! You can interrupt that cycle of overwhelm and anxiety triggers.

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Why Me? 

Well, I’ve been there year after year. I’d make resolutions that would be forgotten by the end of January and endless to do lists that grew overnight. That was just at home! At work I’d have pages of lists and plans for every second. But, my professional targets would be in a folder until a week before my progress review!

I spent years making lists about lists and overflowing lists of things going round in my head, often keeping me up at night. I’d get distracted and put off doing what would move me forwards and achieve my goals. But now I know how to keep on top of my to do lists and manage my busy brain so I don’t get overwhelmed! You can too!

When Change Was Needed

When I fell ill in January 2014, you can imagine there were no resolutions being made. My focus was all on the one thing that was out of my control – getting better [I’ll come back to that]! I made a conscious choice not to make resolutions the next year, as they’re just too broad for me. I’d put too much pressure on myself, over-thinking and having negative experiences as it felt unachievable!

When I started taking my own business more seriously, even though it was mainly a pain distractor and boredom buster, I still wanted to succeed so I joined a new Facebook group, run by a coach called Josie. I was really excited by what she was saying about living with less worry, especially learning about the science behind my feelings. It was just what I needed to hear! Now I’m going to share some of what Josie’s taught me with you! You can read about what she does here: Worry Free

I soon realised I was still trying to do too much, leaving me drained when my husband and 2 boys needed me. I ended up giving myself just 1 goal: ‘I Will Be Kind To Myself’! I learnt so much about myself, mostly, that my family come 1st – Always! I’ve worked with Josie on my goals for the last 3 years now and each time has been different. From her amazing live videos, small group conference calls and support.

This year I’ve used her brand new Goal Creator download and video, which I’ll tell you how to get for FREE at the end of the post….

How To Write Awesome Goals for 2019 without being overwhelmed! 

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The Big Review

One of THE most important parts of Goal Setting is looking back at what’s worked well for you in the past and what you could improve. It’s really important that you don’t skip this bit! Here I’ll share 2 exercises that might help you. Try it and see!

  • Look back at 3 of your biggest achievements and 3 experiences that didn’t go well (avoiding triggers). List what stands out on both occasions?
  • List all that went well for you in 2018. Do this quickly, without thinking too much. Is there anything from your goals that you didn’t achieve as you wanted to? Do you notice any patterns that could help with planning goals this year?

Finally, don’t worry if you didn’t achieve all of last years goals. You can be flexible.

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Life Choices

Before doing anything, take a moment to think about your needs. Are you thinking how to create what you want more of or less of in your life? Overwhelm occurs if you don’t create balance. This exercise from Josie’s 6 week goal setting course can really help you zoom in on your needs. She explains it in more detail, but have a go!

  1. Roles – family, worklife, hobbies and community/your tribe.
  2. Relationships – family, friends, loved ones and other positive interactions.
  3. Self Worth –  positive mindset/thoughts and how you value yourselfY

Priorities  

You may have a long list at this point. Now narrow it down to just 3 or 4 goals. Try rating these areas from 1 to 10.  This is based on an exercise from The Goal Creator.

  • Personal Growth
  • Emotional Well-being
  • Romance
  • Family & Friendships
  • Self Care
  • Hobbies and Fun
  • Career/Work
  • Money
  • Your own Environment
  • Health, Nutrition and Fitness

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Which of these score the lowest number? The lowest of these should help you prioritise 3 or 4 goals. What do you need more of? What do you need less of?

 

 

What Might Be Holding You Back

Jot down the 3 or 4 goals you’re thinking of. Now take a step back and think of what might be holding you back from achieving them? Have you got any fears or worries?

There could be a few reasons for this. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Is this goal out of your control? Remember when I said ‘Getting Better’ is my ideal goal, but I can only control some aspects of this. Yours could be ‘Becoming a Millionaire’. But things you can’t control at all, need to go. If you could control parts of it, then make the bit you can control your goal.
  • Is it jumbled in your mind? Is there too much going round in your head and you can’t work out what to focus on?  Too help, can you see how the goal you’re thinking of fits into your Roles, Relationships and/or Self Worth?
  • Is it too much to do? It’s quite possible that in your excitement, you’ve forgotten  these aren’t your long term goals. Realistically is it something you can do in under a year? If you don’t think so, then making this a goal could make you feel overwhelmed. Break it down into smaller chunks and try again.
  • Is something already bothering you about this goal? Maybe you feel overwhelmed by how much you’ve got to do. Or maybe you feel pressure to succeed. Jot down everything you’re worrying about, then come back to it. Here’s a bit of science about Fear when setting and achieving our goals.

When under too much stress, the body’s natural response to fear may trigger the fight – flight response. When triggered, our bodies release chemicals which cause a burst of energy and strength, raising our heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate. This primal response to fear or stress is because our bodies can’t tell the difference between real or perceived threats. This may lead responses such as – anxiety attacks (flight), guilt (fight) or procrastination (freeze). The Fight or Flight response occurs when we are overwhelmed by everything we need to do. Want more? Click this link

Setting Goals

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Now you should have some clarity on the goals you need to set. However, this is just a taster of the process that Josie takes you through with her Goal Creator training that you can get FOR FREE! So if you’d like more support then check out what she has to offer you at the end of this post!

  1. Write down the 3 or 4 goals you’ve chosen to focus on. Why have you chosen these? What positive effect will working on these goals have?
  2. Write down the steps you need to achieve each of your goals. Include everything that will accomplish your goals, especially the little things that may seem obvious – they’re important.
  3. Use definite language for each goal – using ‘I will’ instead of ‘I want to’. Using this language helps to set your mindset and believe that you will achieve your goal in 2019!
  4. Go back to each step and set a date that you think is reasonable for completing  that step. This holds you accountable for your actions and keeps you focused.
  5. Write down your goals where you’ll see them daily. Get creative! This ensures you’re thinking of your goals each day and will encourage you to act!
  6. Choose a reward for completing each goal. How will you celebrate? It doesn’t have to be a material reward, you can get your a manicure or have a date night, for example. This might seem silly, but it’s a really important part of the process. Josie has kindly explained the science behind using rewards:

The brain loves rewards. It loves to feel like it’s getting somewhere. So, when we reward ourselves for small actions, we are sending positive brain chemicals around our bodies. The more we do this, the more we create these positive chemicals which encourage us to do more of the things that keep us safe and well. The more we do this we are creating positive reinforcement. So the more positive actions we take, the greater success we will have. This will keep you focused, motivated and feeling good!

In Conclusion 

When you have lots running around your head you can get into a negative cycle of overthinking. Having a busy brain can affect both your physical and mental health! Getting your ideas down on paper will help you to stop worrying about everything.

Then you can work around your strengths and create a positive mindset for goal setting. When you consider your priorities you can create meaningful goals, which can be broken into small, manageable steps. Finally, by rewarding wins, you create a positive cycle which leads to more and more success. Now go and create your awesome goals for 2019, without feeling overwhelmed!

The Goal Creator 

Yay – you’ve found the link to Josie’s FREE Goal Creator training, that’s brand new for 2019! Whether you’ve read all my tips or skimmed your way here; It’s a win!

The Goal Creator workbook and video will help you get clarity of mind by getting things down on paper. You’ll be able to move forwards and take small actionable steps to stop overwhelm and lead you to success.

The Goal Creator Free workbook

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The Impact of Positive Mindset on Taking the Old into the New #NYE2018 #positivemindset #poetry

Here’s my take on using positive mindset strategies to let go of the old in anticipation of the wonderful opportunities ahead. More importantly, I talk about the importance of spending time in the now!

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I hope you can make 2019 the year that you learn to be present and mindful of taking each day at a time. Please enjoy my poem and then spend a little time reading it again to recognise where you could take on 1 New way of looking at a part of your life next year!

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Follow me @Strength Of Tears on Instagram

Or @Strength Of Tears on Facebook

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Chronic Illness Bloggers

How to stay sane when stuck in bed with chronic illness or recovering from surgery. An insider’s guide

Staying level headed with debilitating pain. 

Those of you that already follow my story know I’m no stranger to surgery. I’ve  had my 3rd brain stent surgery for IIH (Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension ) on 15th November. I was aiming to get downstairs on Saturday and I made it. It’s so important to have goals to keep you motivated. I had a family day yesterday too!

But I’m going to be spending this week in bed again recovering, as expected. My pain levels are high today and I had a bad night’s sleep, but I don’t regret it. Days with family are what keep you going . My condition is extremely debilitating but I’m not seeking sympathy; I share my experiences to raise awareness!

Please note: if you have questions about IIH, any chronic illness or mental health concerns; please speak to a trained health professional. These tips are about self care and any advice I share is based on my own experiences.

I shared this selfie on social media, 10 days after surgery. It was youngest’s 13th birthday and I was in bed, fed up that I couldn’t celebrate. The response to this post has been amazing. I received lots of supportive messages and my husband, Joel, was asked at work how I stay sane and positive when I’m stuck in bed for weeks – struggling to get to my en-suite bathroom at times.

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So here’s my guide to staying sane as a chronic and invisible illness warrior! 

  • Don’t fight the pain! I used to be determined not to give in to the pain and I’d push myself to do too much too soon, making my recovery take longer. Now, I try to listen to my body and have retrained my brain to know that it’s okay to rest, This has taken years of making mistakes, until being taught to recognise and change patterns in my behaviour by my coach, Josie (details below).
  • Ask friends and family to tell you when you’re looking tired. It’s easy to miss signs that you’re flagging, but don’t shy away from asking those close to you to say if you look like you need to rest. If someone tells me I look rough I’m not offended, I just realise that I do hurt a lot and may need that pain relief!

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  • Remember your condition doesn’t only affect you. A delicate ecosystem occurs for most familes when someone has a chronic illlness. This means any change has an effect on family life. If you’re the one in constant pain, then your contribution to family life is probably limited. For example, I usually do online grocery shopping and am usually the mediator. Plan for those times when you can’t make your usual contribution. Try asking a friend to pop to the shops or do some jobs around the house, so your partner doesn’t have to do everything!
  • Give yourself time to recover. I always seem to forget how tough living with daily high level pain is or how hard recovery from surgery is. So I tend to think I’ll cope better than I actually can. Now I set myself goals and break these down into smaller steps. E.g restarting your physio or getting dressed before venturing downstairs. Whatever goals/steps you take need to be all about you! This is the time to practice self care! Maybe keep a pain diary or notes after surgery, so you can look back at what has worked for you in the past,

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  • Be honest about having visitors. Let’s be honest, the novelty of surgery soon wears off and friends might get bored with your chronic illness. You’ll probably stop getting as many flowers and cards, but hopefully your friends will still support you as much as ever. For me, receiving a text cheers me up, but having visitors (when you can) is vital! You’ll get a mental boost and it breaks up the bedroom boredom. But, if you’re in too much pain; be brave and postpone. True friends will understand and if they don’t, then you don’t need them!
  • Keep a gratitude journal. I spend time every day reflecting on what I’m thankful for. I write 3 positive things in my diary every night or the following morning, This can be anything and it’s the little things that count when you’re recovering from surgery or a bad flare. Washing my hair, managing to eat a proper meal, having a snuggle with Joel or a giggle with my boys mean so much to me in that acute pain phase. I’d suggest starting getting into this routine before surgery. It’s also really nice to share these with friends or family!
  • Meditate. I can’t explain how much meditation helps keeps me calm in hospital and in the following weeks. I download my favourite meditations (in case there’s no WiFi) on my phone and take my headphones to block out the horrible noises on a ward. They also help me sleep between hourly obs through the night! I also use techniques I’ve learnt to visualise my happy place to lie still during a procedure or anaesthetic. You can read my tips for meditation here.
  • Use affirmations to visualise positivity. Ok, so I know the word meditation may have scared you off, but stay with me! Using affirmations has been the key to staying sane through 3 brain and spine surgeries this year! I also use affirmations cards from TheYesMum  (@theyesmummum on Instagram) daily.

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My coach Josie, from Worry Freedom created personalised affirmations to help manage my worries, which are mainly about how surgery impacts my family. She turned each concern into a positive affirmation, such as ‘I am proud that my boys have built resilience’. I record these as voice memos on my phone and listen to them before, during and after my stay in hospital. They’ve helped me to stop worrying about everyone else and concentrate on my one job – healing.

  • Ask family to spend time with you in your bedroom. When you’re always in bed, it can get very lonely. So, whether it’s snuggling with Joel watching TV, having a chat about the day or watching a film with everyone on the bed; having my family come to me is so important. For example, we ate youngest’s birthday meal in my bedroom, so that I could still be a part of his special day.
  • Entertainment. I’ve always been against TVs in bedrooms (personal choice), but after my first surgery Joel set one up in my bedroom so I could watch my favourite comfort movies. It’s stayed! I rely on my iPad so when we realised this was going to be our new normal, Joel set up Apple TV so I have lots of choice. I’ve also have audible and Spotify so I can listen to gentle music or spoken word on the days when I can’t open my eyes.
  • Bonus Tip – When you’re doing better, but still stuck in bed or the house I think you need a hobby. Many chronic illness warriors craft and this helped me not to feel so lost when I’d been diagnosed. I’d taken silversmithing classes before falling ill, so I began making beaded and up-cycled creations. Now I run my own online business with an Etsy shop. I’m closed whilst I recover, but I’ll be posting more about this as I prepare for reopening. You can see what I make on my social media pages too. ⬇️

Paprika Jewellery & Accessories

Paprika on Facebook

Paprika on Instagram

Paprika on Pinterestl

Paprika on Twitter

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So these are my top 10 tips for managing to stay positive, or at least rational when can’t do anything. But hey, we’re all different and these are just what works for me, If you’ve got the money to invest in working with a coach, do it! It’s all about finding solutions and a good coach can change your outlook! I had counselling after diagnosis, when I was still grieving for the life I’d had. If you’re struggling please talk to your GP/Doctor straight away!

Are you recovering from major surgery? Do you have a chronic illnesses? I’d love to hear about what you’ve tried if you’re housebound or bed-bound. What tips do you have to keep rational and level-headed? 

Chronic Illness Bloggers

Being kind to myself; meditation and selfcare

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while, will know that I love to meditate. It’s one of the only things I can do to help relieve my constant pain; just a little bit. Meditation is taking time out to focus on yourself and introduce mindfulness into your daily routine. You can do visualisations or keep it simple with a guided meditation from YouTube. OI recommend The Honest Guys and Jason Stevenson. They just hit the tone perfectly and even have guided meditations that are specifically designed for those who are in physical pain. They are aimed at anyone who needs guided meditations and visualisations and are great for those with mental health problems; such as anxiety, depression. This two are especially good, as they are generic and great for beginners and anyone else!

Whilst I’ve been suffering from so many infections and heightened pain levels; I’ve forgotten how helpful I find meditation. Now this is one of the main issues that I have picked up on that are not helping me reach my goal for 2017. I made a promise to be kinder to myself. I am much better than I was and losing your way when you have set goals for yourself is normal; our brain fights to go back to what it knows, when we are trying to change our mindset.

So, I’ve revisited some of the steps towards my goal:

  • I have worked hard to limit my to do list. I bought a diary so that I could plan out my social media engagement and tasks and creative themes for my business. I’ve used an erasable pen or pencil, so that I can move tasks if I’m having a bad day.
  • I’ve been able to say no to friends visiting when I need rest days and tried really hard to celebrate my achievements.

However, I haven’t been so good at self care. I have got out of the habit of revisiting my pinterest vision board for achievements and positive quotes. Creating time for myself has been neglected a little; mainly by my meditation practice  disappearing from my daily routine. I’ve also neglected my writing. Both of these are so important for my mental health. I think I will try planning it into my day’s tasks in my diary. We’ve also made changes to my Carer’s tasks for the day and that has been an amazing help for them and myself.

Last week, my writing mojo returned and I have been honoured to join the team at The Fine Print of Pain. This is a brand new site, intended for people with chronic illness to have access to a plethora of advice, information and even has a space for chronic illness creators to show off their talents. This excites me so much. I wrote my first article to explaining IIH you can find this here. The editor, was stunned by my writing and said I had “produced an article that was articulate, focused, and properly done, especially for your first time! I feel so proud of this (and will add her words to my vision board). However writing like this today, about what is playing on my mind is so cathartic.

So, I have started this blog instead of meditating which  was my plan. However, I just felt so sick that I couldn’t settle. Being able to just write about what is happening for me now, has distracted me and my nausea is settling now (with a little anti-emetic help and a dose of oramorph). It’s reminded me how much writing helps me work on my positive mindset. I’m now going to pause, meditate and hopefully have a snooze and then I will finish what I have to say about meditation and self care; the first steps back to my daily routine for a positive mindset. It’s 10:52am. I’m going to listen to a sleep meditation to cleanse your chakras; appropriate for those with an affinity toholistic practice and spiritually.                  Before Sleep: Chakra Realignment

Ahhh….it’s now 12:20 and I’m having my Pukka ‘revitalise’ tea, tucked up in bed and feeling so much calmer. That is all it takes to remind me of the importance of this. My pain is lower, I feel a tiny bit more energised (still having a bed day though) and my shoulders are still lower than my ears! Ok, I still look poorly but I am, so I just have to deal with that!

Self-Care

The actions that individuals take for themselves, on behalf of and with others in order to develop, protect, maintain and improve their health, wellbeing or wellness. SourceThe self-care forum.

I have been working towards all of these things with the support of an amazing group of women. It is run by an  inspirational Coach calls Josie Brocksom who runs Worry Free hypnotherapy and coaching. It makes me focus on recognising my needs so that I can be the best that I can possibly be. I highly recommend this lady and her fab blog too!

Next Steps

It’s now time for me to put into action some of those good habits that I have let slip.

  • I will plan time to meditate at least once a day
  • I will make use of #wednesdaywisdom by posting in here, on Twitter and my Facebook pages (personal and my Paprika Jewellery & Accessories page, which you’re very ŵelcome to visit) to help me revisit my vision board.
  • Write regular blog posts, I’m going to aim for one a week, maybe a fortnight.
  • Take praise on board and capture some of it to add to my vision board.
  • Plan my social media time, so that I don’t let it take up too much of my time; which could be used creatively or as rest time

 

Rollercoaster! #weddings #neuros #finishingteaching and #hope whistling in the wind finally! 

I know, I said I was going to write more often! I even told myself I’d write every day! Well, it started off well but then I’ve just felt too unwell! The idea is to journal to try and help with my mood and keep me on more of an even keel. 

My week started off with a lovely smile full of memories of a fantastic- migraine friendly wedding, celebrating the marriage of the lovely Kim,who I met through Mission Migraine, and her fantastic husband ( I can say that now)! They have been amazing support for both me and Joel as we struggle through this journey of daily pain and my IIH/Migraine being argued about over by consultants. I knew the journey to the wedding alone would tire me out, even though they live relatively close and the venue was only just over an hour’s drive away. We knew we had to stay overnight as I wouldn’t cope with a return journey and it worked perfectly with our boys already having their week,s holiday with their grandma in Wales! 

It felt amazing (rare these days) to get dressed up and actually go out for an evening with my husband, considering getting upstairs past 6pm is usually a struggle, but there were no stairs involved and I had a lot of determination. There was no loud music or flashing lights and there was even a migraine/dark room if needed (upstairs though, so a bit of a dilemma for me, but good old oramorph, meant unneeded)! Kim’s migraine’s are triggered by smells,  so people were also asked not to use perfume beforehand or spray anything in the toilets during the event. Bloody genius if you ask me! She was worried about doing it but it’s your special day, so I kept telling her to be selfish and bossy. People don’t mind; they just need to know!  Here we are; I’m obviously on oramorph and other painkillers but I managed fine because of all of the above.

 
Even more of a bonus was that Kim and Mark had invited other migraine friends from the group; I’d met two of the girls before and one I had not. We chatted all evening; in fact, I got bombarded with affection as I was wheeled into the lobby of the reception venue by my wonderful internet friends/migraine sisters. I’ve known two of them for over a year, having met them in Liverpool last year before my health spiralled out of control. But the lady, Sybille, who I hadn’t met before; came rushing to me with tears in her eyes because I had made it and she’d got to meet me. She told my story really touched her and then gave me a lovely gift of a soapstone with ‘hope’ carved into it-little did she know how much I needed that for the coming week! Anyway; I talk to these ladies everyday. It’s hard to explain how close you can feel to people when you rarely meet physically, but talk daily. I truly feel like these girls are friends for life and that I’ve known them for years. There were no awkward conversation moments (apart from when one of the girls blacked out and she pinched my wheelchair and husband to get back to her hotel!!! (I know I sound jokey, it wasn’t at the time of course, but when you live day to day in a world of serious illness, you have to laugh things off, and she’s ok now)!  The hugs were amazing and it was so hard to say goodbye to all of them. I hope we can keep finding reasons to meet up! Here we are mid poses for photos; it’s one of my favourites because you can see just how much we all just want to talk. Kim in the middle looked stunning in her dress; I absolutely loved it!  (You can also see I’m being held up by her and my walking stick is nicely hidden behind her full skirt! 

So as you can imagine, this was a massive thing for me and I knew it would take a few days to get over but I had a smile on my face on Monday morning as we’d also managed to stop in for lunch with a close friend and his family, who are very special to us both and we got to meet and cuddle their new baby! I knew I’d be in bed all day Monday but I was happy! 

Tuesday came by and unfortunately one day in bed hadn’t been as restorative as i’d hoped; I really needed to stay in bed again but I’d agreed to go to an occupational health meeting. It was with a doctor for a final assessment (I hope) towards reaching a final decision about where we go with a job I haven’t worked for 20 months and have no foreseeable future for returning! I’ve only ever wanted to teach in my life but this illness has made me readjust my thinking and let me see there are other things that are less stressful out there! I continue to make jewellery, it doesn’t pay the bills but it’s beginning to pay for the consumables, and it gives me a creative outlet and purpose in this, oh so purposeless life! It was so tough, as I always attend these meetings without taking oramorph, so that they can see the true state that I am! My carer was quite shocked to see me like that as she doesn’t usually see me get to that state; even though she’s seen me on many bed days. As soon as we left, I took oramorph and I was a changed person within minutes; it also meant I could cope with the journey home without vomiting in her car!  There was nothing new said in the meeting, apart from a letter from my main surgeon at Cambridge, that the dr read out. It was quite shocking to hear that he does get just how bad I really am! The day left me feeling despondent and miserable. I know work needs to end; I know I can’t go back to teaching for a long while and I’m not sure I even want to in the same capacity anymore, but I still feel sad thinking about how it’s come about! I hope that I will at least get to say a proper goodbye when the time comes! I begged Joel that evening to hound Cambridge as I just felt like I’d been forgotten about!

So Wednesday came and I was back in bed but for my mental sanity, I asked Nina to bring me some of the drawers from my new jewellery trolley, so that I could at least do something. Here is one of the pieces I made! 

 
It does help so much to create. I talked about this just yesterday with my godmother/aunty who also has a chronic illness. We just discussed how it helps you feel like you’ve achieved something; that you still have a purpose and that you can make something that people appreciate still even if you can no longer do the housework or hold down a job, for instance. I’m sure that there must be studies of this and how useful it can be….. I haven’t mentioned it to my dr or counsellor because I feel almost as though I’m cheating by making things whilst saying that I’m ill. Isn’t that crazy? I’m not sure why, because I’m sure they’d be supportive. Maybe I’ll mention it to my counsellor next week. It would be interesting to hear her take on it! I also worried at the beginning about posting online but it’s mad. I only can make for 20-30 minutes at a time and it’s about the only thing I can do because I can sit still! I don’t have to remember things because if I don’t finish something it’s pictorial; not like a book where I have to remember a plot-I can’t do that anymore! Anyway, I decided in the end to post and so many of you are supporting my work. If you like what you see and would like to see more you can visit my Etsy shop here https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThePaprikaJewellery?ref=hdr_shop_menu 
Or, I’d love you to like my Facebook page for exclusives, competitions and discounts! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Paprika-Jewellery/1590612551178653

Thanks 😉

Then Thursday came and meeting with the neuro was unforgiving. She is a lovely lady and just wants to give me a back up plan in case Cambridge don’t pull through, but it is just one of upping the topirimate and making me more zombified and trying to get me off of oramorph. Fine, but not if that included being admitted to hospital for detox, as was suggested! Anyway, better suggestions were a long term BP monitor to find out what happens when I fall and pass out and to keep a pain diary that she will actually look at. I was ok but still felt despondent, even cried in her office. I just felt like I’d been left to rot on a pile and felt particularly let down by Cambridge that had set my sights so high! So confusing! 

Luckily, Friday came and finally Mr A from Cambs actually phoned my husband and told me that he had written to us and didn’t know why we hadn’t got the letter! He was worried about how poorly I am and wants to see me ASAP in his NHS clinic (he’s on holiday for 2 weeks first though of course) and he may even consider stenting first before this other procedure is approved, as it’s obvious that I need help. I cried tears of relief. My faith has been restored, the confusion has cleared and I feel like I am back on the path that I was meant to be on all along.  The plan may have to change slightly but my sights are back on that goal again and hope is whistling in the wind of my life once more!  A rollercoaster of a week for sure but I’m back at the top and my boys are back home so I’m hoping that this next week is on more of an even keel! 

 

P.S I will try and write more regularly as promised!