Tag Archives: chronic illness flare

Spotlight on the fundamentals of the Infinite Dreams Collection!

Writing this blog allows me to raise a spotlight on the fundamental aspects of my Infinite Dreams Collection. It’s not all about jewellery designs so I wanted to share with you how the poem and designs linked to self care and acts of kindness. As I considered my core beliefs for my loyal customers and supporters it developed into this…

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Spotlight on the fundamentals of the Infinite Dreams Collection!

Having chronic illnesses affects everything, especially my relationship with Joel and the boys; which has only become stronger. The boys, Joel and the rest of my support network inspired the poem and the designs.

As I thought about my own experiences with chronic illness and mental health, I realised I had an insight into how many of my customers were part of other’s support networks. So many are either looking out for someone with chronic illness or someone who deserves a boost.

My love of helping others meant I was able to create a range dedicated to gift giving and valuing self care. An infinity range was the ideal choice for launching my new look shop aimed at care givers/friends of and those with mental health and/or chronic illnesses.

My very first collection had been on my mind for a while so when I needed time out for 3 major surgeries last year, it gave me time to consider the purpose of Paprika Jewellery & Accessories. I wanted to take it to the next level. I used my time out to train in everything handmade business related and I learnt so much!

How Chronic Illness and My Family Enabled Me To Dream

Becoming chronically ill has encouraged me to dream and I’ve worked hard to turn those dreams into reality. Chronic illness has enabled me to build even tighter knit relationships with my boys and a much deeper connection with my husband. They keep me grounded and empower me to to be the best I can and to live the best life I can.

They’ve encouraged me to keep going even when the battles I’ve faced have been beyond tough. They’ve helped me believe in myself again and to use my limited energy to keep pushing towards my dreams; when many would want to give up. Their support has made me feel less guilt about choosing to only give my time to true friends.

The McKee family at our favourite restaurant in Brighton

How my amazing friends inspired this new collection

When I decided to make a jewellery gift for one of my true friends after about 9 months of time out for 3 major surgeries, I had a moment. I was drawn to using an infinity charm in the necklace I was making for her and the phrase ‘Infinite Dreams’ came to me. I knew this was a sign and that simple necklace inspired me to create more using this idea.

I began to explore what the idea of infinity meant to me and why that charm was so perfect for my friend. When I look at her, I see strength, loyalty, honesty and empowerment. This lady is a fierce warrior with a chronic illness, who puts everyone else’s needs before her own. I realised why these characteristics led me to the infinity symbol.

As I researched more about the infinity symbol, I discovered how many of the designs link to the importance of your roots and the interconnected branches of a loving family. As my own family have my heart and fill my soul, these symbols became even more powerful.

The Infinite Dreams collection became cohesive, reflecting all the qualities in beautiful designs. The designs are made to empower and protect; to show unconditional love; the strength of empowerment and support from your tribe despite any battles you face.

A sunset with 2 silhouettes holding out their arms and forming their hands to make a heart when they touch.
Infinity means loving and living with your tribe
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Infinite Dreams

Infinite Dreams was ideal for creating a poem around the meaning of infinity and the symbols that represent it. The verses are based on each of the main symbols and references I wanted to include in my collection. I’d been dreaming about adding poetry into my creations for Paprika Jewellery which made me so excited for this.

The poem is the heart and soul of the Infinite Dreams collection. I’ve built the full extent of the designs around it. As you can imagine that the collection is brimming with infinity symbols, celestial charms and celtic symbols of infinity, such as the celtic knot and the tree of life symbols; which I’ve explained below. Mostly it’s just an inspirational poem for you.

Every purchase from this collection will come with a free postcard that I’ve designed with a verse from this poem. The verse will link to the symbol used in the design. I hope to eventually spread this system to all of my designs so I’d love any feedback. Just email me at paprikajewellery@gmail.com.

Glowing shadows mature in an eternal scene,

Sheltered support where branches intervene.

Through myriad roots emerge infinite dreams.

Sparkling raindrops creating a lustrous sheen,

Showered by the abundance of hope you have seen.

Through myriad shimmers emerge infinite dreams.

Comforting warmth embraces you from dire fears,

Engaged virtue by way of the strength of tears.

Through myriad wishes emerge infinite dreams.

Shooting stars spread in a cosmic grandiose scheme,

Stunned by the extent of your soul’s graceful gleam.

Through myriad flickers emerge infinite dreams.

Sleeping on rainbows, sewn with love at the seams.

Scattered crumbs from everlasting sunbeams.

Through myriad colours emerge infinite dreams.

Continuing loops knitting life, interweaved.

Unconditional love, yet seen to be believed.

Through myriad spirals accomplish infinite dreams.

By Laura Mckee ©️2019

I really appreciate your continued support and am pleased to share this with you today. However, I must remind you that this poem is under copyright. Please do not share, copy or print this image or wording for any purpose.

Collection poem meaning

The Infinite Dreams poem represents the hopes and dreams I see in my future. As this poem was the basis for the collection that would mark the reopening of my shop, it was very important that it meant something to everyone. The designs are from the symbolism used to represent eternal connections.

Infinity Symbolisation

There are many interpretations of the infinity symbol, based around there being no end and no beginning. The circles represent a never-ending attachment, such as everlasting love or a vivid connection. It’s been used for centuries with these other meanings.

Modern interpretations are that the interconnecting circles represent each side of a relationship; cementing the idea of being ‘together forever’. The symbol used in Celtic knot designs has interlacing, continuous patterns showing the continuity of life and the double infinity design means “double absoluteness.”

The Celtic theme continues with the Tree of Life, the branches and roots joined by an endless circle. This symbolises the connection of heaven, earth and all living things. A tree starts as a seed, grows, reseeds and begins the cycle again. The roots are the bond we have with our family and ancestors – representing the circle of life in all things.

Other meanings behind the symbol represents perfection, duality and empowerment. It also stands for the equality between men and women and has been used by the UN Development Fund For Women to reflect the message of endless possibilities and empowerment for women.

In the Making

As you can imagine, it was busy, exciting and occasionally chaotic in our house as I got getting ready for this launch. I couldn’t have done it without Joel’s help, especially with the photography. It’s been great to get back to making but being able to put into practice all the things I’ve learnt whilst recuperating, has been satisfying.

There are boxes brimming with beautiful Jewellery and we’ve had a semi-permanent photo studio set up in our front room with all of my updated props. We intend to photograph all of my stock once I’ve recovered from the launch – the reason this blog has taken me a while to finish editing.

I’ve been busy tapping away on the keyboard as I update the whole shop and tell my story so it’s important to the whole shop. I’ve written my new listings using everything I’ve learnt about sales and loved every minute of preparing to share my first ever collection with the world.

I’ve been sharing sneak peeks along the way but I wanted to show you my workspace. As I’m mostly stuck in bed, this is where I create. I used to have a craft trolley next to my bedside table but it used to get so messy! Joel suggested this gorgeous unit so I have a neat working space to keep all my goodies in.

Who Is The Infinite Dreams Collection For

The designs are for the fierce warriors; loyal friends; honest wives/partners and women of your family who have your unconditional love, including yourself. I want the designs to remind the wearer of the endless possibilities awaiting them if they don’t let life’s hurdles hold them back. I want the collection to inspire and empower.

All in all this is a celebration of love, family and equality. I want people to see these designs as a way of celebrating life even if there are barriers to achieving your dreams. The most important thing to remember is that although this collection is based on infinity we do only get one chance in this life so look after you and reach for your dreams today. ♾

Pinterest Graphic- close up image on a grey stone effect base of the Simple Infinity Amethyst Bracelet. Wording below says 'Spotlight on the fundamentals of the Infinite Dreams Collection.

My Etsy shop The Paprika Jewellery aims to support positive thinking by creating designs from positive themes and provide inspiration. Visit today for luxury jewellery & accessories from and for the soul. Positivity for you now and hope for a vibrant future. 

Haven’t visited my Etsy Shop yet and have FOMO? You can still check out all the Made To Measure, limited edition and one of a kind goodies from my Infinite Dreams Collection. See the whole range by clicking on this link now. ➡️

If you like what you see in the catalogue or Etsy shop you can get a 15% discount code by signing up to my VIP access area.

You’ll also get free access to my resource library and I’ll send you my Free Journal Prompts with positive lines from my poems. Just sign up to my occasionally regular newsletter today. Click this link now 🔁 Strength of Tears & Paprika VIP Access

Chronic Illness Bloggers

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✋Hey there! You could really help me out. Just one minute of your time to press that share button helps me so much! You’ll literally make me do a bed-bound happy dance. Now there’s an image for you! Go on, you know you want to! 

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My Not So Secret Poetry Diary – A Date with Anxiety #copingwithanxiety #poeminspiration #mentalhealthblogs #chronicblogger

My Date with Anxiety

It’s been a tough ten days in my chronic illness warrior body, so I wanted to share with you some of the things I’ve been feeling – eek, it’s time to get real peeps!

I’m going to reflect briefly on what’s been happening to my body and mind each day. But hey, remember this is me writing so, even though I’ll be totally honest, I’ll make sure there’s a positive to everything! This is the story of my Date with Anxiety.

I keep a diary (not a journal) and use it to pace my daily activities. Randomly through the year I write little notes of my strengths and personalised affirmations. Then in the evening I write 3 positives from that day.

Friday 7th December

I couldn’t sleep last night, it’s been disrupted all week, but this was next level. The pain was intense and relentless and I couldn’t understand why. A friend visited me yesterday, which had made my day. She never stays too long and spotted when I was flagging. I hadn’t napped either so I expected knock on effects, but why was it SO bad?

At 3:30am my heart started racing and I was breathless and dizzy – losing control. This panic attack came out of nowhere!. I got up to use the en-suite and collapsed, but my amazing husband Joel woke immediately and rushed to my side. Then he hugged me tight, that hug that let’s me know I’m not alone!

I ended up taking a strong dose of diazepam, but I still didn’t get much sleep and when my carer arrived at lunchtime I was stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. She took such good care of me and was extra gentle, seeing me so poorly. I recognised at the end of the day that I’m a very lucky lady to have such wonderful souls looking after me!

Saturday 8th December

Hardly any sleep again last night! The meditation and breathing techniques I normally use didn’t help and the day was littered with panic attacks, feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I was on full anxiety alert. Thankfully Joel was amazing with me through it all again and encouraged me to go downstairs for a change of scene.

Before going down I had a shower which was an accomplishment in itself. I still had panic rush up on me again and I just wanted to run away! But Joel guided me through it all, holding my hand I calmed down. Eventually, drained and emotional, I managed a 10 minute nap watching TV, on Saturday evening and finally got some relief.

I’ve not had a flare like this in years!

Sunday 9th December

I’ve managed to sleep much better at last, but I feel battered and bruised from the state of alert my body’s been in the last few days. I know my brain has had the acute stress response or fight or flight. This is exhausting as despite having a large toolkit for dealing with stress, I’ve struggled to access these strategies whilst in a state!

I’m being kind to myself today and have prioritised getting downstairs to be around my boys, so that they can make me laugh and help me heal. The mental bruises take just as long, if not longer than physical to heal, but I’m slowly building myself back up.

This link explains what might happen during a panic attack.

Monday 10th December

I’m still feeling fragile today, but at last my body has decided to catch up on some of the lost sleep. I’ve cat-napped all day, with a little break at lunchtime when my carer arrived. I have no idea what we were talking about but we were cackling away! Joel was working downstairs (a little cushion for me – knowing he’s around even if he’s busy) and commented on the cackling as soon as he did pop upstairs!

Now that I’m trying to process my feelings, I was brave and decided to write a poem about the feelings I experienced. It’s important to reflect on any kind of anxiety attack however you do it, but sweeping it under the carpet won’t help you in the future!

Tuesday 11th December

I finished the poem this morning when I woke up early. Most of my poems are at least started when I’m either not getting to sleep or waking early. This was an early morning finish! I love creating the poem on a lovely background, using stock photography, which is perfect for sharing on social media. I loved the reaction this poem received!

I also chose to explain a little about what I’d been exploring when I wrote this poem. However, I’m not yet used to being so open about my own mental health whilst I’m still fragile. But I’m committed to raising awareness and always think about the fact that what I write might help just one person!

I talk about my anxiety levels rising as the lack of sleep and increased pain added up. But although I’m drained, I do have a strong mental health toolkit – full of strategies that I practice regularly. I know how to use these help build myself back up. Knowing that I’m my only priority in this instance is key to bouncing back!

Well, I thought that I’d got my groove back as the week went on but I’ve struggled again the last few nights, especially last night when I managed about 90 minutes all night. Thankfully I dozed all morning, catching up a bit on all that lost sleep from pain. However, I’ve managed to keep the anxiety in a box by using my toolkit. See below…

No mental health blog is complete without a few top tips.

If you or someone you know suffers a panic attack, try these tips!

  • Exercise

Exercise is one of the quickest way to deal with the raised stress levels that come with a panic attack. My physical illness stops me from going for a run (think flight…), but I can do some bed yoga, even though I take it even more carefully than normal! Some good stretches and shoulder rolls are a great way to shake it off!

  • Talking through the experience

A panic attack is our body’s way of telling us we’re in danger. It’s unlikely you’re in any danger, but tight chests and trouble breathing are all primal reactions to danger. This can trick the mind, almost like a tripwire. So rationalise and talk your physical feelings through with someone. The more you practice, the sooner you’ll interrupt the signals between the brain and the body and if you do this when you’re not in the acute stage, the quicker your training will kick in when you do feel anxious or panicky.

  • Laugh, Smile and spend time with your loved ones!

What can make the stress disappear more than having fun with your friends and family. Make time for each other, put down your phones and other technology and talk. You’ll notice how often I talk about being with Joel and my boys. They make me laugh out loud every day and the feeling is mutual. It’s one of the strongest things we have as a team and we are definitely the reason for all of us usually coping so well!

  • Relaxation and Mindfulness

I talk about meditation and mindfulness in most of my blogs because they are the easiest ways to relax. You can train your brain to take it slowly and/or meditate daily so it calms and controls your breathing. Then you automatically have these skills to help you relax during an anxiety attack. Body Scan Guided Meditations are ideal (search YouTube) and I are some of the easiest meditations to start with. You may find that something else relaxes you, such as taking time to be present or sitting in nature.

I hope that this sneak peek into my world has helped give you an insight into panic attacks and how they can come about. I have let you in to these thoughts because I believe that mental health is as debilitating as physical health can be. They are also often intertwined and life can be tough and lonely if you keep it all inside. I feel very strongly that sharing my experiences is vital to ending the stigma that surrounds mental health. I only discuss this to raise awareness, I’m not seeking sympathy!

If there’s one thing you have learnt from my Date with Anxiety or one thing that you can take away to help yourself or your loved ones, then please let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

**AND if you’re not affected directly, then please remember that you never know what someone is going through, so please take the time to listen and talk to each other!

I’ve referenced these websites and blogs whilst writing this post:

Anxiety and Panic Attacks- Mind.org

6 ways to switch off the fight or flight response

Understanding the stress response

How the flight or fight response works

Chronic Illness Bloggers

How to stay sane when stuck in bed with chronic illness or recovering from surgery. An insider’s guide

Staying level headed with debilitating pain. 

Those of you that already follow my story know I’m no stranger to surgery. I’ve  had my 3rd brain stent surgery for IIH (Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension ) on 15th November. I was aiming to get downstairs on Saturday and I made it. It’s so important to have goals to keep you motivated. I had a family day yesterday too!

But I’m going to be spending this week in bed again recovering, as expected. My pain levels are high today and I had a bad night’s sleep, but I don’t regret it. Days with family are what keep you going . My condition is extremely debilitating but I’m not seeking sympathy; I share my experiences to raise awareness!

Please note: if you have questions about IIH, any chronic illness or mental health concerns; please speak to a trained health professional. These tips are about self care and any advice I share is based on my own experiences.

I shared this selfie on social media, 10 days after surgery. It was youngest’s 13th birthday and I was in bed, fed up that I couldn’t celebrate. The response to this post has been amazing. I received lots of supportive messages and my husband, Joel, was asked at work how I stay sane and positive when I’m stuck in bed for weeks – struggling to get to my en-suite bathroom at times.

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So here’s my guide to staying sane as a chronic and invisible illness warrior! 

  • Don’t fight the pain! I used to be determined not to give in to the pain and I’d push myself to do too much too soon, making my recovery take longer. Now, I try to listen to my body and have retrained my brain to know that it’s okay to rest, This has taken years of making mistakes, until being taught to recognise and change patterns in my behaviour by my coach, Josie (details below).
  • Ask friends and family to tell you when you’re looking tired. It’s easy to miss signs that you’re flagging, but don’t shy away from asking those close to you to say if you look like you need to rest. If someone tells me I look rough I’m not offended, I just realise that I do hurt a lot and may need that pain relief!

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  • Remember your condition doesn’t only affect you. A delicate ecosystem occurs for most familes when someone has a chronic illlness. This means any change has an effect on family life. If you’re the one in constant pain, then your contribution to family life is probably limited. For example, I usually do online grocery shopping and am usually the mediator. Plan for those times when you can’t make your usual contribution. Try asking a friend to pop to the shops or do some jobs around the house, so your partner doesn’t have to do everything!
  • Give yourself time to recover. I always seem to forget how tough living with daily high level pain is or how hard recovery from surgery is. So I tend to think I’ll cope better than I actually can. Now I set myself goals and break these down into smaller steps. E.g restarting your physio or getting dressed before venturing downstairs. Whatever goals/steps you take need to be all about you! This is the time to practice self care! Maybe keep a pain diary or notes after surgery, so you can look back at what has worked for you in the past,

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  • Be honest about having visitors. Let’s be honest, the novelty of surgery soon wears off and friends might get bored with your chronic illness. You’ll probably stop getting as many flowers and cards, but hopefully your friends will still support you as much as ever. For me, receiving a text cheers me up, but having visitors (when you can) is vital! You’ll get a mental boost and it breaks up the bedroom boredom. But, if you’re in too much pain; be brave and postpone. True friends will understand and if they don’t, then you don’t need them!
  • Keep a gratitude journal. I spend time every day reflecting on what I’m thankful for. I write 3 positive things in my diary every night or the following morning, This can be anything and it’s the little things that count when you’re recovering from surgery or a bad flare. Washing my hair, managing to eat a proper meal, having a snuggle with Joel or a giggle with my boys mean so much to me in that acute pain phase. I’d suggest starting getting into this routine before surgery. It’s also really nice to share these with friends or family!
  • Meditate. I can’t explain how much meditation helps keeps me calm in hospital and in the following weeks. I download my favourite meditations (in case there’s no WiFi) on my phone and take my headphones to block out the horrible noises on a ward. They also help me sleep between hourly obs through the night! I also use techniques I’ve learnt to visualise my happy place to lie still during a procedure or anaesthetic. You can read my tips for meditation here.
  • Use affirmations to visualise positivity. Ok, so I know the word meditation may have scared you off, but stay with me! Using affirmations has been the key to staying sane through 3 brain and spine surgeries this year! I also use affirmations cards from TheYesMum  (@theyesmummum on Instagram) daily.

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My coach Josie, from Worry Freedom created personalised affirmations to help manage my worries, which are mainly about how surgery impacts my family. She turned each concern into a positive affirmation, such as ‘I am proud that my boys have built resilience’. I record these as voice memos on my phone and listen to them before, during and after my stay in hospital. They’ve helped me to stop worrying about everyone else and concentrate on my one job – healing.

  • Ask family to spend time with you in your bedroom. When you’re always in bed, it can get very lonely. So, whether it’s snuggling with Joel watching TV, having a chat about the day or watching a film with everyone on the bed; having my family come to me is so important. For example, we ate youngest’s birthday meal in my bedroom, so that I could still be a part of his special day.
  • Entertainment. I’ve always been against TVs in bedrooms (personal choice), but after my first surgery Joel set one up in my bedroom so I could watch my favourite comfort movies. It’s stayed! I rely on my iPad so when we realised this was going to be our new normal, Joel set up Apple TV so I have lots of choice. I’ve also have audible and Spotify so I can listen to gentle music or spoken word on the days when I can’t open my eyes.
  • Bonus Tip – When you’re doing better, but still stuck in bed or the house I think you need a hobby. Many chronic illness warriors craft and this helped me not to feel so lost when I’d been diagnosed. I’d taken silversmithing classes before falling ill, so I began making beaded and up-cycled creations. Now I run my own online business with an Etsy shop. I’m closed whilst I recover, but I’ll be posting more about this as I prepare for reopening. You can see what I make on my social media pages too. ⬇️

Paprika Jewellery & Accessories

Paprika on Facebook

Paprika on Instagram

Paprika on Pinterestl

Paprika on Twitter

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So these are my top 10 tips for managing to stay positive, or at least rational when can’t do anything. But hey, we’re all different and these are just what works for me, If you’ve got the money to invest in working with a coach, do it! It’s all about finding solutions and a good coach can change your outlook! I had counselling after diagnosis, when I was still grieving for the life I’d had. If you’re struggling please talk to your GP/Doctor straight away!

Are you recovering from major surgery? Do you have a chronic illnesses? I’d love to hear about what you’ve tried if you’re housebound or bed-bound. What tips do you have to keep rational and level-headed? 

Chronic Illness Bloggers

A poem for all chronic illness warriors ‘It’s okay to rest!’ #chronicillness #chronicblogs

Are you a chronic illness warrior?

Do you fight the pain everyday? Do you even get cross with your body for not doing what you want to! I do, but I’m working hard to remember that it’s okay to rest!

I hope this helps you if you feel guilty for doing nothing. Just listen to your body!

Design

It’s okay to rest!

My body fights the constant pain
And drains all my energy spares.
My body ransoms my attempts to move
Yet soothes the grief for what was.
My body tricks my brain into a spin
Though wins with time to calm my mind.
My body taunts with glimmers of light
When nights are long and sleep is gone.
My body is learning it’s okay to rest
But tests the deal that I’ve made to heal.
My body and mind still fight the pain,
But gains most when I concede to rest.
Now I believe that it’s okay to rest!

Copyright Laura McKee 2018

Chronic Illness Bloggers 

Normals illness vs Chronic illness. What happens when Carers get ill?

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Continue reading Normals illness vs Chronic illness. What happens when Carers get ill?